Who are Pete and Fran?

If you’ve made it this far and are asking this, you’re either struggling with cognitive decline (see the accessibility question below) or great at guessing quite easy passwords. Either way, we’re really looking forward to seeing you in May.

What is a wedding?

To quote Stephen Sondheim (educate yourselves, philistines): “A wedding, what's a wedding? It's a prehistoric ritual where everybody promises fidelity forever which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of which is followed by a honeymoon where suddenly he'll realise he's settled with a nut and want to kill me which he should.”

Traditionally people have married to reduce their tax burden and prevent their children being referred to as bastards at school. We've researched both of these and concluded that neither apply in our circumstances. Our reason for marrying is much more sincere: there comes a point, around about eight years, when referring to each other as boy / girlfriend starts to sound a bit suspect, and using 'partner' sounds too much like we run a law firm. By contrast, ‘Husband and wife’ suggests a degree of maturity that we aspire to, and will hopefully possess within minutes of saying I Do.

Also, for the avoidance of doubt, and because we’re all aware of the rumours about Pete: we love each other a lot, obviously.

So is it Pete and Fran that’s getting married?

Yes, but in an act of a pure altruism - and absolutely nothing to do with whether the venue has a wedding licence - we’re going to spare you the tedious legal bit by crossing the i’s and dotting the t’s in advance of our special day. No hymns, no signing a big book, no opportunity for you to tell us why we shouldn’t be joined in holy matrimony. Just 100% fun.

When and where is all this happening?

If you haven’t clocked this already we’re not really sure what to tell you, but here it is as a calendar appointment just about every platform imaginable. Go on, add it to Microsoft Teams you loveable oddball.

Do I have to dress as a film character?

Film is a loose theme, not the dress code. You can find Fran’s rambling on it here. That said, if you really want to dress as E.T., nobody’s going to stop you. In fact, you might make our day. Nothing says romance like a little shrivelled alien.

Can I do a speech, a song or interpretive dance?

Possibly. We’re yet to work out the order of service and want to keep things fairly unorthodox, but this is a wedding, not a school talent contest, so we’d rather not have a free for all where the more restrained guests end up staring at their feet. If you do feel compelled to contribute and promise not to be too mean, please get in touch.

Can I bring a guest that’s not on my invite?

For due diligence reasons, we need to know the names of all attendees by early 2026 in order for them to be thoroughly vetted. We appreciate we may have omitted people from invitations; if this is the case, it’s 100% due to consideration of numbers or plain forgetfulness on our part rather than not wanting them to join.

If you would really like to bring a guest, and think that not having them there would negatively affect your enjoyment of proceedings, please reach out. Full disclosure though, there will be lots of hootin’ and hollerin’ country folk, and we don’t know what the Mother of the Bride will come out with during her toast.

I have an access or dietary requirement, can you accommodate me?

Yes - the Marquis has step-free access and accessible rooms, if you’ll be staying the night. We can accommodate most dietary requirements too, just let us know in advance and we’ll get you sorted.

How do I book a room at the venue?

Let us know if you’d like to stay and we’ll confirm asap. Payment is taken on arrival at the venue, and all the details are over here.

I know you’ve explicitly set out when and where the wedding is taking place, the dress code, gift possibilities and where I could stay, but is there anywhere I can find further information?

Yes, like all middle class Londoners we have a podcast, Wedcast, where each week we discuss all the details of our special day with a different member of the wedding party before disagreeing agreeably about our favourite wedding menu items. Listeners can use the offer code NONSENSE for 10% off a Squarespace subscription so you can bore people with your tedious website too.

Why would you spend so much time and money developing a website featuring information that most couples succinctly convey in a simple invitation?

Really can’t answer this one without a level of introspection that we’re incapable of due to devoting all our mental energy towards building a website. Sorry.